i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
