That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
