have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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