He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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