Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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