yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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