question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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