The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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