Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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