but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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