if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
