never play flip cup with pint glasses
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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