We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's always time for handjobs
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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