Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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