After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
