nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
