Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
