i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Randomize
