You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
