Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
