If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
