I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
