so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Randomize
