I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My liver just broke up with me...
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
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