I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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