i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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