well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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