I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
