Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
