just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
