I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
