so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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