I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
