i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
