Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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