and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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