Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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