I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
