AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
