I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Damn victory sex feels great
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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