i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
