At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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