Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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