Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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