I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
