that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
