What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
