why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
