The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
