come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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