The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
