At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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